I passed!

It's Friday night and I refused to look at the results. I'm actually on my honeymoon right now. Finally, at 1 am, I couldn't take it anymore and I just decided to look at the results. The name above appears on the pass list!!!! HOLLY SHIT! I woke my new husband up and started screaming, "I passed, I passed!" We both started crying and calling our families. We are so happy and so unbelievably relieved that this nightmare is over. I don't even care if I ever find a job so long as I don't have to live with the burden of this failure hanging over my head forever. However, the news is bittersweet. I learned that some close friends, people I KNOW to be smart and capable and certainly competent did not pass. This breaks my heart because I know that this is a crapshoot. You win some, you lose some. I'm no smarter or more competent this time than I was the last time. For all of you who must try again, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

It's interesting to read my post from last July and compare it to how I feel now. It didn't go well. I had hoped to be happy right now but I'm not. Again, it was the final PT that was my downfall. Horrible. I somehow completely ran out of time. I didn't really wright anything. I will be lucky to get a 50. Anyway, at the moment I can say gut level I feel that I may have gotten a 65 on wills, 60 on con law, 65 on property, 75 on torts, 65 on corp/pr, and a 60 eh maybe a 55 on the evidence/K/rem. I ran out of time on the last one. I only discussed relevance and hearsay for the Evidence section, the only exception I used was that it was not hearsay b/c not offered for TMA. Then I discussed PER and was just out of time and barely hit rescission and reformation. My only contract analysis was in the reformation discussion and it was brief. I think 65 and 50 on the PT's. Obviously this is not a passing score. Anyway, I am done here. I will not take this exam in July. I did all I could and I feel that I know the law but nothing can prepare you for the stress and anxiety of being in that room. I wasn't able to perform under testing conditions. No amount of studying or preparation is going to change that. I'm very sad.

This is it.

Well, here we go. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by. Everyday I felt like the hours were just flying by and I was never able to finish all that I wanted to accomplish. Well, it's pretty much over now. Before the last exam I wasn't unable to really go over every subject in the 7 weeks I had to prepare after graduation. I pretty much skipped community property and the CA Evidence distinctions. This time I was able to read the whole conviser for every subject and familiarize myself with the CA distinctions. I did every essay BarBri offered us and 7 PT's not to mention hundreds of MBE's. I made my own outlines and checklists. Overall I feel much more prepared than last time however I don't feel confident. I've spoken with friends who say that, "everything just came together" in the final weeks. I have never felt like everything was coming together. I actually feel like I have too much information in my head and I will be unable to get everything out in a clear, coherent manner. The stress and anxiety of this experience has been overwhelming. I've lost 15 pounds and my hair is falling out. I'm going to look like a freakish little skeleton at my wedding. Anyway, I truly did give this all I've got. Everything in my life up to this point (except of course my previous failure) has lead me to believe I am capable of passing this exam. I have done NOTHING but study 10+ hrs a day for the last 2 months. I have barely stopped to eat or shower. So this is it. This is all I have. If it's not enough or I panic or something then I just have to accept that it was not meant to be and move on. I really can not subject myself to this again. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE! I really pray that everyone who has put in the work and taken this seriously will pass. You all deserve too!