Ready or not...

It is the Sunday before the exam and I am so nervous I can't concentrate on anything, let alone the CA Evidence distinctions. I thought this is as good a time as any to make my first post. I know this will sound melodramatic, but this experience, preparing for the Cal Bar, has been the worst experience of my life. I truly think I was a sane, happy and normal person before law school. However, I started to lose that person 3 years ago and at this point don't even remember what happiness feels like.

I feel so overwhelmed by this exam. Mostly by fear, I am so afraid of failing it literally makes me sick. I didn't graduate until the 31st of May so I didn't get into BarBri until June. I kept up with the schedule until about 3 weeks ago, after I graded my practice MBE. The results were devastating because I thought the MBE was my strong point. (111 correct, I got a 60 on every single graded essay - no improvement whatsoever). You would think that I would have hit it hard at that point and really pulled it together for the final 3 weeks. However, I experienced the opposite. I totally freaked out, threw up, cried hysterically for hours, the whole deal. I never really got back in the game after that. It's almost like I've resigned myself to February.

I'm so disappointed in myself for letting this exam get the best of me mentally. I never anticipated that I would react this way. Of course I would stress during exam period like everyone else, but for some reason I am really overreacting to this exam.

Anyway, to everyone else out there good luck!